There are many disappointments in life. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." -Proverbs 13:12 There will be seasons when our hopes fail. Hopes for a healing, that end in the grave. Hopes for a marriage, now destroyed. Hopes for a womb that never bares. Hopes for love, for friendship, for companionship. Although some will invest their hopes in material things, Most people realize that the fulfillment they seek is relational. We sing..."Money can't buy me love!" and "Love is all you need" There lies an innate undeniable truth in the preeminence of love. We come out of the womb craving it. And we always will. Under the heading of real love comes all the things we want; friendship, companionship, intimacy, honor, respect, bonding... fulfillment.
This is why the hope of these things being deferred, makes us sick to the heart. We realize that we have very few people that really love us, so when we put one in the grave, it hurts immeasurably. Live a little while and you will see that day. I've seen a father and mother bury their firstborn son, and with him, a part of themselves. I will never forget that father's wailing for his lost hope.
Yet it is not only the grave that bereaves us of our hope of love. Sometimes hope dies first. I attended the funeral of a friend a while back. He died a young man, murdered by his own hand. What a tragedy. Although I knew him well, I had never met his family. They were estranged. As the funeral went on I realized that they didn't even know the man I knew. Many hadn't seen him in years, and even then, only occasionally. They had lost him, before they lost him. What immense regret.
Who have you lost? Not to death, for that is done, but to life? Relationships are fragile structures that can be demolished by unkind words and deeds. We can forgive, but if we never invest the time to rebuild, the relationship will still lie in ruins. We've all been there. We've seen some thoughtless act rip the roof off a relationship, leaving it exposed to the elements. Maybe it was just something inconsiderate. Or maybe it was utter betrayal. But somehow we have all seen relationships turn to rubble. In the ruins of every relationship there is a common element: . The reason you can find rejection somewhere among the ruins, is because it is rejection that strips us of the desire to build again. Rejection defers, and eventually destroys, hope. Relationships have been known to weather an incredible amount of diverse storms only to rise stronger than before. But rejection strips us of hope to rebuild. So we simply walk away.
All rejection hurts:
"I'm not interested in you."
"I don't care about you."
"You don't matter to me."
Feel that? It hurts, does it not?
So how do we react to rejection? Usually with... rejection. "Well... I don't care about you either" It seems silly, but that's exactly what we do. Why? Its our defense.
So what's the answer then? Relationships are of too great value to waste. How do we deal with the rejection? Only the " " can help you love deep enough to weather rejection. "He was despised and rejected of men."-Isaiah 53:3 No one has ever faced rejection like the man of sorrows. The governor sought to kill him as a child. They tried to throw him off a cliff in reaction to his first sermon. Mocked, derided, scoffed, falsely accused, betrayed, forsaken, tortured and crucified, yet his love marched on. He can help you love beyond rejection, because he's been there. He can help you build again. "Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up."-John 2:19 Your hurt is real, you've been damaged, hope may have been killed. But he is the resurrection, you can love again. You can love beyond rejection, rebuild, and hope again.